Arrundelle: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Artham: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Esben: FLOOR IT!!
Arrundelle: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Artham: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Esben: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Arrundelle: DO IT!
Artham: NO-
Kalmar: Let’s all agree that going up the stairs on all fours is actually the best experience on earth.
Maraly: Conversely, going down the stairs on all fours is actually the most terrifying experience on earth.
Kalmar: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth
Esben: DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT JOKE WAS FUNNY? IT WASNT. NOBODY IS LAUGHING.
Esben: *pulls up a graph* THIS IS WHEN YOU TOLD YOUR JOKE, YOU HAVE SONGLE HANDEDLY RUINED COMEDY! IVE ALSO ASKED MANY COMEDY SCHOLARS ON THEIR OPINION OF YOUR JOKE AND THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY!
Artham: I've been researching comedy for the past 20 years, and I have genuinely never seen a joke this bad. We have used quantum physics to look into alternate universes to see every joke made, and yours was still by far the worst.
Esben: CONGRATULATIONS! YOUVE SINGLE HANDEDLY CREATED THE WORST JOKE IN HUMAN HISTORY! HERES A MEDAL! *pulls up a horrible ms paint drawn star that says "you need help*
Maraly: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him?
Sara: A pet WHAT?!
Kalmar: William Snakespeare.
Kalmar: Go ahead, Sara. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry.
Janner: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.
Leeli: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?
Kalmar: If people did that to each other, Janner would've killed me years ago.
Peet: I was put on this earth to do one thing.
Peet: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.
Sara: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
Kalmar: Which came first, the orange or the orange?
Janner: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago.
Leeli: What was the color called before then?
Kalmar: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!
*The squad is playing a team sport*
Janner: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Maraly?
Sara: Have you ever played a game with Maraly?
Janner: Well, once…
Sara: So you know what its like to be trapped in a cage with a wolverine?
*Meanwhile, on the other side of the field*
Maraly, chasing Kalmar: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!
Artham, making coffee: This is going to fix everything
Maraly: Why are we even here?
Kalmar, drawing a smiley face on a fogged up window: To suffer.
1-Arundelle and Artham seem mixed up...
2-I get freaked out going down small hills on all fours. DO NOT FREAKING TALK TO ME ABOUT GOING DOWNSTAIRS FORWARD ON ALL FOURS!!!!
3-Agreed
4-Who are they yelling at?
6-I was concerned for a hot second before I realized I'd be Kalmar
SNAKESPEARE!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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These are SO PERFECT!! The Artham one and making coffee made me actually laugh out loud.
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The one with Peet forgetting his purpose in life reminds me of how all of the Istari except Gandalf fell away from the Valar's purpose.