This is a poem I wrote in response to @Aerwiar Archives saying we should try and write our own stories or poems and stuff from Aerwiar.
It's the first time I tried something like this so I don't know if this can "legally" be called a poem or what it would actually count as. 🙃
I haven't done much writing so if anyone has some constructive criticism and advice that would be great! Also my punctuation probably has flaws so I'll apologize for that right away. 😁
Anyways, here it is, a battle poem/song from the Green Hollows. I titled it "The Children Of The Hollows"
Arise, Arise! Ye children of the Hollows, draw the sword, shake the spear for servants of darkness draw near, to slay and steal and grind us to meal so stand lest you come under their heel!
Arise, Arise! Ye children of the Hollows, for kin and clan and the fruit of your land. Stand and fight all through the day and into the night to drive away the foe so filled with spite!
Arise, Arise! Ye children of the Hollows, for after even darkest night the dawn will shine bright on a battlefield filled with the fallen.
Arise, Arise! Ye children of the Hollows, to bring news of a battle won to the old and young, those who prayed for you through to the dawn!
Arise, Arise! Ye children of the Hollows, to honor your brothers and sisters who fell, those who died so that you might have life!
Arise, Arise! Ye children of the Hollows, and sing of the slain on the shores of the roaring main, those who died to defend what was right!
Hehehe. Just Nia here for you're daily T.H.A.G.S instruction! 😆 First of all, I absolutely loved this! I got exactly which emotions you wanted to portray. So 👍!
Second of all, Each time you have a word that will later rhyme with another word you make another line.
For Example:
Arise, Arise! Ye children of the Hollows,
draw the sword, shake the spear
for servants of darkness draw near,
to slay and steal and grind us to meal
so stand lest you come under their heel!
It makes it much easier to see the pattern, and also as you're writing it really helps you to know about how long to make each line. Cause you don't want one a lot longer than the previous one. (Except for certain types of poems like haiku).
Hope this was helpful! You really did a great job using vivid words!
Dude. That was awesome. I know very little about poetry, but... that sure seems quality to me! I can totally see the Hollowsfolk chanting this on a battlefield!!
That was real good! I would love to hear it with like 1000 hollows folk yelling it on a battlefield! It would leave every one of their enemies trembling in their boots!
This sounds like it came straight out of the book! Awesome!!
That was really good.
I liked that!
Wow!! That's amazing!
I don't write poetry, but I do read a lot of it, and for this being your first one, this is awesome! you really have a way with words! 😃 great job!
It reminds me of "Arise Riders of Theoden."
That was great