The Records of the Thwap House Pt. 3

We were in the toolshed, hammering at a shapeless piece of metal. Three orcs of Isengard were once again working at another machine (most likely to have glitches).

"So, how exactly is a machine that squirts vinegar to be of any use?" Ugluk asked.

"I don't know... just... it's just creating for fun. And you never know when you might need it," I said.

"I'm not so comfy about this one, Lurtz. A vinegar machine! I mean, what if it backfires?" Sharku said.

"It won't! When have they ever backfired?" Sharku and Ugluk looked at each other. "Oh, okay, I know that 14,000 of them have backfired but it doesn't mean this one will!"

"You said that last time," Ugluk said.

"I did? Well... yes... I did... oh boy. Fine, I'll do this one myself. You boys go and join the party. Tell Guacamole Pants to drop the tunneler by. I've got to test if the updates solved all those glitches."

"Doesn't he have enough work already?" Sharku said. "I mean, the guy has got sunburn from working the furnaces!"

"I've told him to take a break, and he won't listen," I said.

"Okay..." Sharku said.

The two orc captains walked out, and I sat down on the table a minute to read. Just the other day, I had found a strange blue book lying in the mud, and it was full of pictures of mysterious creatures from a land called Aerwiar.

I began to read a description of the Snottamous, when the door of the toolshed burts (literally) open. The orc servant in green was on top of the tunneling machine.

"Guacamole Pants!" I yelled. "Park it outside and then knock on the door next time!" The orc scratched his head and walked away.

"When will he ever learn?" I shook my head.

The tunneling machine was mole shaped, made out of black scrap metal left over at the blacksmith and some glass for the windshield.

I crawled through the hole in the side and across the passenger's seat to the wheel.

I pushed a button in the middle, and the molish-machine tipped onto it's nose, and began to use it's front paws to dig, while the nose spun around as well.

We were at a mile in no time. The needle moved fast to show how deep it was. 2 miles, 3 miles, 4 miles. This continued for several minutes, but once I had gone past my record, 22, something flashed before my eyes. In front of me was a portal, and I had an idea to where I was going.