TTH Incorrect Quotes | The Thwap House

Because I couldn't resist. Yeah, I used a generator. I tried to do the ones I thought were the most accurate-or funny. Enjoy! 😁

everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker

Lili: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Wren: ...I did. I broke it.

Lili: No. No you didn't. Anaya?

Anaya: Don't look at me. Look at Spaghetti.

Spaghetti: What?! I didn't break it.

Anaya: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Spaghetti: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Anaya: Suspicious.

Spaghetti: No, it's not!

Gracie: If it matters, probably not, but Arthra was the last one to use it.

Arthra: Liar! I don't even drink coffee!

Gracie: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Arthra: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Gracie!

Wren: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Lili.

Lili: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Gracie: Lili... Anaya's been awfully quiet.

Anaya: rEALLY?!

Everyone starts arguing

Lili, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Lili: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Lili:

Lili: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Lili, walking into her house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Wren: Hey.

Anaya: Hi.

Spaghetti: Hello.

Gracie: Hey!

Lili: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Arthra: We were out of Doritos.

Lili: Do you know a turtle's only weakness?

Anaya: No... well, their slowness.

Lili: Their weakness is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.

Lili: Now I have a plan.

Lili: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

Wren: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Lili: We have three, actually!

Arthra: Pick your favorite.

Wren: We're kind of missing something guys.

Anaya: Cohesion?

Gracie: Teamwork?

Spaghetti: A general sense of what we're doing?

Lili: And Arthra is not here.

Anaya: Oh, and that, yeah.

Gracie: It’s beautiful outside this morning!

Lili: It’s 2AM.

Gracie: It’s Beautiful outside!

Wren: We’re indoors.

Gracie: It’s beautiful!

Arthra: It’s storming.

Gracie: It’s!

Lili: Okay, if we can't do it by sheer force, we'll do it my way.

Arthra: But your way is sheer force!

Anaya: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Gracie: Several traffic violations.

Arthra: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Spaghetti: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Wren: Also, that’s not our car.

Spaghetti: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Anaya: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

Lili: Oh no, she texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Wren. She’s mad at you.

Wren: No, it's Spaghetti. She’s just being grammatically correct!

meanwhile

Spaghetti: And then I used a period so she'd know that I'm mad at them.

Gracie: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

Spaghetti: I stand by my choice.

Gracie: There's no meeting today because Anaya is at the police station.

Wren: She’s in jail?!

Spaghetti: We have to get her out!

Arthra: Jailbreak! I'm in!

Spaghetti: I'll dress up and distract the guard!

Arthra: Ooh, I'll bake some food to help distract ALL the guards!

Wren: I guess I could bring my frying pan in case we need a shield to keep us from being shot-

Gracie: No! Anaya wasn't arrested! She’s undercover, taking the system down from the inside. She doesn’t need our help!

Arthra: If you’re going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might not even still be there, you can forget it.

Wren: There is an alternative, then.

Arthra: Out with it.

Wren: You could drop five hundred feet down a pitch black tower and hit stones which certainly are there.

Spaghetti: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!

Spaghetti: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

Anaya: We need to distract these guys.

Spaghetti: Leave it to me.

Spaghetti: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Arthra & Lili: immediately begin arguing

Arthra: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Lili has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.

Gracie: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don’t want to be at?

Arthra: I knew you’d understand.

Lili: Am I in trouble?

Wren: Take a guess.

Lili: No?

Wren: Take another guess.

Non-Thwap Houser: AAHH!! MUFFINS!!! EXPLOSIVES!! IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

Lili: calmly starts distributing chorkneys, first aid kits, and chocolate

Non-Thwap Houser: HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP???

TTH User: It’s just Seth. We’ll be fine. You’d be surprised by how often this happens

Non-Thwap Houser: watched Thwaphousers charge on chorkneys, waving swords, screaming, and eating chocolate

Non-Thwap Houser: runs in the wrong direction

Wren: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Gracie: No.

Lili: I did not.

Spaghetti: I may have actually forgotten one.

Anaya: Also no.

Wren: Oh good, neither did I.

Arthra: Exhausted sigh

Spaghetti: I'm going to get myself some soup.

Lili: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot.

Spaghetti: Pfft, I won't burn myself.

30 seconds later

Spaghetti, entering the room: I burned myself.

Wren: I've been expecting you, Anaya.

Anaya: How did you do that without turning around?

Wren: Let's just say the first few people I did that to were not you.

Lili: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Anaya: That's deep.

Arthra: That means that ketchup is a smoothie.

Anaya: That's deeper.

Gracie: ...You guys are idiots.

Anaya: Lili, I think we have a problem.

Lili: What, the fire?

Anaya: No, the- wait, what fire?

Lili: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

theatrical bow