Chapter 33- Head over Heels
The next afternoon, the Keep was full of people, joyfully celebrating the renewal of the alliance between the Green Hollows and Anniera. As he looked around at the glad people, Esben got a firmer grasp on how important it was that a the two countries stayed allied, and for once he felt like all the struggle of the last few weeks were worth it.
Everywhere Esben looked, there were more and more people, mostly Hollish but Annieran as well. A ship had come from Anniera early that morning, and another would be arriving in a few hours.
Based on the occasional disconsolate sighs and discreet longing glances Artham constantly cast toward the dock, Esben assumed that Arundelle had not arrived on the morning ship.
The alliance had already been announced that morning, and the next three days would be spent completely in celebration. Esben was thrilled. Artham appeared happy enough, other than his restless looks toward the watercraw and his constant tense vigilance. Esben didn’t see Aro very often, and when he did he was almost always with Artham. From his nervous expression, it seemed that he disliked large crowds as much or maybe even more than Artham did.
Esben was talking with one of the council members from Anniera, and even though he tried very hard to pay attention, he found himself more and more often looking away from the man and scanning the crowd.
He told himself to pay attention, and to stop looking around.
Besides, she might not even come tonight, he thought to himself in an effort to make himself stop thinking about the Helmer girl and focus on the conversation he was having, since he could tell he had already made several rude lapses in attention. In fact, he was having one now. The council member was looking at him expectantly, clearly waiting for the answer to a question. Esben tried to remember what in Aerwiar the man had said and found with dismay that he only remembered about five words of the conversation. He kept thinking about Nia standing with her face uplifted to the snow, her dark eyes sparkling and luminous as they reflected the sky, and thinking about how he would finish the drawing in his sketchbook. Somehow his new thoughts didn’t leave much room for any other ones.
Her grandfather was the last Keeper, of course she’ll be here.
“I’m so sorry, can you say that again?” He finally asked, forcing himself to listen and then answer with some form of reasonableness before Nia showed up in his head again.
He sighed in slight exasperation, then realized he had sighed out loud. He quickly apologized and excused himself from the councilman. If he didn’t figure out how to make his brain shut up soon, he would probably end up saying or doing something ridiculous.
A distraction presented itself right after that, in the form of a very noisy Aspen.
“Hi Esben!” He practically shouted. Esben laughed, immediately looking around for the other three and Artham.
“Hey guys I found him!” Aspen proceeded to shout, clapping a hand on Esben’s shoulder. “Where have you been, we’ve been looking for you!” Aspen continued as he and Esben walked toward the rest of their group.
“Actually, Esben,” Io interrupted with a smirk, “We got here about five minutes ago. Aspen’s just impatient.”
“I am not!” Aspen replied immediately, then turned to Esben, gesturing to a table from which wafted inticing smells of blueberry goeyballs.
“Hey it looks like they’re setting out the food, do you want to go grab some?”
“No thanks, I’m not hungry right now, I just ate,” Esben answered, a little absentmindedly. Aspen looked at him curiously, then shrugged.
“Well I’m going anyway,” he said as he walked in the direction of the food. “Let me know when you change your mind.”
“I’m coming too,” Io called, catching up to Aspen. Esben watched them leave, and then caught himself again looking through the noisy, happy crowd of people for Nia Helmer. He walked away through the crowd, deciding to go look for her.
*
Artham watched Esben walk away, and he must have looked worried because Dru tapped him on the shoulder, breaking him out of his worried train of thought and asked what was wrong. Artham laughed ruefully, wishing he wasn’t so tense and could actually just enjoy talking with Dru and Josif without having a panic attack whenever Esben walked out of his sight. Figurative panic attack, of course.
“Nothing,” he finally said. “I’m just worried something is going go really badly tonight. I just… can’t stop thinking about everything else that’s happened, and that someone still wants to kill my brother!” Artham’s words came out in a rush, causing a spurt of panic that immediately convinced himself that he could not let his brother out of his sight for one second until he had proof that whoever was trying to kill his brother was either dead or locked in jail. His thoughts flashed across his face like dark thunderclouds.
Aro stepped back and for a minute, a flash of fear showed in his eyes and he looked like he was about to be sick. But only for a moment, thankfully one short enough that no one noticed.
Artham immediately walked through the crowd in the direction Esben had gone, leaving Dru, Josif and Aro to glance at each other in surprise. Dru followed Artham, Josif close behind and Aro hesitantly going with them.
Dru was hurrying after Artham, so he almost ran into him when Artham finally stopped, looking with relief at Esben who was a little bit away, looking through the crowd and munching on a goeyball.
“Are you okay?” Dru asked his friend, half joking. Artham sighed.
“Yeah, I just keep thinking about every single thing that could go wrong…” after a pause, Artham looked at Dru. “I’m being paranoid again, aren’t I?”
“Pretty much,” Josif said. Aro, standing far enough away from the group that they didn’t notice him, watched with an unreadable expression.
After a second of silence, Artham looked in the direction of the door.
“I’m going to step outside for a minute. I need some fresh air.” He said, turning and walking away. Halfway to the door, he felt someone tap on his shoulder.
He turned around quickly, his eyes immediately lighting up with surprise and joy.
“Aru!” He exclaimed with a laugh. “When did you get here?”
“Just now,” she answered, smiling at him. “I’ve missed you,” she said, her soft green eyes glowing with delight.
“And I you, my lady,” Artham replied, bowing and kissing her hand solemnly, a spark of humor in his eyes. He didn’t let go of her hand, and they stood looking at each other for a moment, without talking, only enjoying each other’s presence that they had been missing for more than a month.
“You look tired,” she said softly, tilting her head.
“I am,” Artham admitted. “You look beautiful,” he said, still holding her hand. Arundelle blushed and laughed.
“It feels like it’s been so long,” she said, studying his face. “How are you doing?” She asked. Artham paused, laughing a little at her pensive, slightly concerned expression. He knew that her simple question was really a lot deeper than it would sound to anyone around them.
“If I tell you I’m fine I’m not sure you’ll believe me,” he said.
“Probably not,” Arundelle answered, smiling.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” he said softly, squeezing her hand gently, absolutely oblivious to the world.
*
Esben wandered through the crowd outside on the grounds of the Keep. The sun had started setting, and the sky and clouds were streaked with vibrant hues, and strings of lanterns hanging between the trees had been lit, casting a rosy glow over the yard as they swung in the breeze.
Licking blueberry sauce from his fingers, he kept looking around for Nia. He saw quite a few people he knew, some of whom were Annieran and Hollish officials, who he wanted to avoid, and a couple of Nia’s friends. He smiled and waved to a couple of them, but didn’t stop to talk.
He stood by one of the trees where he had an excellent vantage point. He could see everyone, and they wouldn’t notice him.
He tried to quiet the nagging voice inside his mind that told him if he was going to talk to her at all, he needed to tell her the truth.
Finally, he saw her laughing with her cousin across the yard, right outside the door of the Keep. An inexplicable feeling of excitement rushed through him when he saw her, but only for a moment. It was tainted by the fact that they didn’t even have a real friendship because she had no idea who he was.
His train of thought came to an abrupt stop because he was now just a few feet away from Nia and Malik. He stopped, hesitant.
Why am I doing this its so stupid! He yelled in his mind. Everything he was doing was really, really stupid. Lying to the one person in Ban Rona who actually treated him like a friend was the first stupid thing, and every time he let her call him Lander it got worse.
He almost turned around and left. He had to figure out a way to get out of this. He couldn’t believe he had let it get this far. The guilt was getting to be too much for him, and he knew Artham was noticing he was acting strangely.
But then it was too late for him to leave because Nia had seen him. She caught his eye and waved, and another stab of guilt hit Esben when he saw that she was happy to see him. She stepped toward him, but her cousin put a hand on her shoulder. She half turned, and Malik bent over her slightly with a teasing smile and said something that Esben couldn’t hear that made Nia’s cheeks turn red. She laughed and pushed his hand away in mock indignation, then turned and walked up to Esben, a greeting on her lips.
Malik watched Esben with a look that made him feel decidedly uncomfortable. He made himself look away and turned to Nia.
“Hello, Lander!” She said, smiling. He made himself smile back. He didn’t like hearing that name coming from her.
“Hello, Nia. It’s…good to see you again.”
“You too,” she said, looking around at the crowd and the lanterns and the sunset, taking deep, happy breaths, like she could breathe in all the beauty of life itself. He watched her eyes as they glanced over everything at once like she couldn’t get enough of the sights and smells and the atmosphere of happiness and celebration that pulsed through the crowd, rising and falling with the voices of the people.
She looked back at him, having looked around for only a second.
“I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?” She asked. He paused and his mind raced for something to say. Tell her now! He glanced around, avoiding her eyes. I can’t tell her with all these people around! Before he could start arguing with himself again, he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.
“Well everyone has been really busy lately with the alliance and everything,” he said apologetically. LIAR! His conscience screamed at him and no matter how many times he said that he had never told a real lie, he knew he was living one. He knew it was a horrible thing for anyone to do, let alone the High King of Anniera. And while he didn’t allow himself to think it, he knew his lie was hurting him. And he absolutely hated to think of what Nia would do when she found out. When she found out. He had to tell her.
He realized she was talking and again he hadn’t heard a word. If he had been alone he would have screamed at himself in frustration.
“Nia? Would you like to go inside? We could…get something to eat,” he said. He didn’t know how much longer he could go lying to her and if he had to tell her he wanted as few people around as possibly possible. And it would be easier to find a slightly secluded area inside the Keep.
“Sure,” she said, walking with him closer to the doors. “How much longer are you staying in Ban Rona?”
“Uh, a couple weeks I think,” Esben answered, a little absentmindedly as they walked back inside.
“There’s so many people! And all that food,” she exclaimed. “This is almost like when we have the Harvest Festival. What are you going to eat? I want to see if they have apple pie.” Esben agreed in very few words and followed her, completely perplexed by the Helmer girl. One minute, her deep, dark eyes were serious and thoughtful, then they sparkled with laughter. She also talked a lot. Every time she smiled at him, putting aside the guilt, it filled him with a strange excitement and wonder that was terrifying and amazing at the same time. Esben had never met anyone like her.
And he really didn’t want her to hate him. Which was probably what was going to happen when he told her. She kept talking, and when there were one or two awkward silences in which he tried to force himself to tell her, she asked him questions he could answer easily. She was trying to be kind and make him feel welcome, and she could sense there was something on his mind.
She kept up most of the conversation while they looked for a pie booth. A little while later, Esben had bought her a slice of apple pie and one for himself, and they stood talking while they ate. Her warm, constant, friendly chatter slowly made Esben relax, even as he grew more frustrated at himself. But he greatly enjoyed talking with her. And she had probably made him smile more times in the last hour than he had in the last week.
But he couldn’t really enjoy any of it because he was lying to her. He had started all of this wanting a friend who was his friend because of who he was, not because of his title, but she had no idea who he really was. Everything was tangled and mixed up and so wrong. And he was actually about to tell her.
Then the music started. He looked up and realized it had gotten dark. The three huge fireplaces and multiple lamps were all that lit the Keep, and where the warm flickering light shone on Nia’s dark hair, it turned it a fiery copper and gold color. Her eyes were brighter than ever as she whirled around to look at the group of musicians in the corner of the Keep.
One of the musicians was beating out a steady, exciting rhythm that was slowly increasing in volume and speed. She turned to look at him again, her eyes glowing and her face expectant. The look on her face made him smile without even realizing it. There was no way he could tell her now. He forced the guilt down, telling himself that he would tell her tomorrow. He couldn’t ruin this night. His guilty conscience eased only slightly when he decided to tell her the next day. Only a few seconds had passed, and excitement rose up inside him as soon as he opened his mouth to speak, and answer the silent question she was asking him.
“Will you dance with me, Nia?” Her face lit up and she immediately said yes. A thrill ran through him when he touched her hand, and the only thing he could think of as they were swept into the crowd of dancers was that she was the most amazing girl in Aerwiar and he was lying to her.
Notes:
I know this wasn’t the chapter you were expecting…but I’m kindof doing a story line switch off to keep up an almost constant cliffhanger. 😂
sry i just now read this!! but its SO GOOD!! AND AT THE SAME TIME VERY FRUSTRATING!!!!! like artham, don't leave esben, aro don't kill esben or let anyone kill him, esben FOR THE LOVE OF POTATOES TELL NIA WHO YOU ARE!!!! **sigh* i need the next chapter ellie (well the 35th chapter not the next one) !!!!!