Rather than Resenting: Ch. 29

Dancing

Notes:

I honestly can't think of notes at this point, other than by clarifying that everyone in the story is here, they just might/will not appear since Janner's not actually going to be here for very long.

The exchange between Janner and Evnia is based on the first verse and chorus of "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman, which made me cry at age six and still has the same effect.

EDIT: Azog, I am so sorry, but I put the wrong chapter number 😅

*****

Janner could have gone out to the Throne Room through the door he and Sara had come. It would have been simplest that way. He would have had to worry less about being stopped and thanked by people and having to respond awkwardly, he would have had to struggle to make his way through the crowd much less, and he would have had no need to cover his ears when he managed to reach a cluster of people who decided to shout to compensate for their inability to hear as they normally would.

He chose to brave the crowd and noise and squeezing and stepped-on toes and thank yous, though, because he had to do his best to get Sara's message to Nia. It was possibly one of the last things she would ever ask of him, and he was not about to deny her. It also had the chance of being rather difficult, because it meant he actually had to find his mother in the enormous crowd of people.

There was another thing, though, that he desperately wanted and needed to do: say goodbye to his children.

The group of giggling, twirling, and chattering children was easy to spot among the crowd, largely because of how short and noisy they were. He could find neither Evnia nor Elquinn in the crowd of brightly colored dresses and suits, fluttering and shifting and interchanging constantly to the point at which it was almost dizzying.

He debated on whether or not calling out their names would be worth trying in a room where the sound would likely be drowned out in seconds when he heard, “Daddy, Daddy, we're here!” ringing above the cacophony of noise. It was only another few seconds before he spotted Evnia's strawberry blonde curls bouncing as she made her way through the crowd, a little head of white-blond curls being dragged behind her. 

After another moment she pushed through the rest of the way, and she came to a halt in front of him, still holding right to Elquinn's wrist. However, the rest of Elquinn had yet to join them, as he was still stuck in the crowd. Janner stepped forward and pulled Elquinn out of the mess. He was gasping a little bit, as if he had been suffocating among all the children.

“Daddy, we saw you and Mommy and Cerlon! You were all up there! It was so exciting!” Twirling to express her excitement, Evnia revealed that her hair ribbons had indeed come undone and were fluttering behind her like little strips of a flag. 

Janner smiled. “I'm glad you liked it. Now turn around and let me tie your ribbons again, okay?”

Evnia huffed but listened, and as he tied them Janner addressed Elquinn. “What do you think about the evening, Elquinn?”

Elquinn shrugged his shoulders. “It's okay. I don't like the noise or the people. There's too much. When is it over?”

Smiling fondly, Janner reached over to ruffle Elquinn's hair as soon as he had finished tying the ribbons. “There's still a few more hours left.”

Dejectedly, Elquinn sighed. “Okay.”

Janner looked at both of his children, one almost vibrating with excitement and the other twitching because of how little he wanted to be there. And maybe because of fear. “I have to leave for a little bit, okay?” He told them. “I want you to be good while I'm gone, alright?”

“Promise!” Evnia said, nodding her head vigorously, while Elquinn nodded solemnly.

“Thank you,” he said, smiling. “I love both of you very much, remember that.”

A look of confusion and concern flitting onto Elquinn's face, and he rushed forward and hugged Janner's legs tightly. “I love you Daddy,” he whispered. 

Crouching to his level so he could say goodbye to him properly, Janner hugged him back. “Remember, don't be scared. The Maker has you.” 

Elquinn nodded and stepped back, giving Evnia her turn.

Janner waited a few moments for her to come, but she was focused on something else. And when she did turn to him, it wasn't for a hug. It was for something else.

 “Daddy!” she began tugging on his sleeve. “I know this song! Auntie Leeli plays it when she's here! Will you dance with me for it?”

Janner hesitated for a moment, just a brief one. He did need to leave. The song was beginning, sonorous and lovely, every note perfect, every pluck in proper time. 

Evnia noticed his pause and folded her hands, tucking them under her chin. “Please, Daddy, please?”

Oh, how can I not, not when it might be the last time? Smiling lightly, Janner held out his hands, keeping his arms low and outstretched so she could reach. “Alright. I'll dance with you. Just one though, alright?”

Evnia took his hands, stepped into his toes, and nodded, grinning with delight. 

Janner closed his eyes for the briefest moment to make sure he would be in time with the rhythm before stepping. A waltz, one, two, three, one, two three, one, two, three. A sway, back and forth, another sway, back and forth, another sway, then a twirl. Every motion of the crowd, every step of the song, every note ribbons and ruffles of the fabric of all the dresses in the room flitted through the air.

He knew Evnia loved the twirls the most. That was when she stepped off his toes, allowed him to spin her hair, ribbons, dress flying, gliding, soaring, then back to where she had been before, being guided by him.

She began dancing with him without the direct guidance halfway through the song, her eyes closed and her head bobbing as she followed the rhythm and followed his steps, keeping in time with him and the music. She matched it, matched it perfectly, and Janner saw pure contentment and happiness on her face that chased away while simultaneously augmenting the grief in his heart. 

The music came to a brief stop before fusing into another, one more mournful, more solemn. Janner stopped dancing and Evnia stopped with him. He needed to leave, and she knew it. 

“Thank you, Daddy,” she whispered when he crouched down, still holding both her small hands in his. “I love you.”

Janner kissed her forehead. “I love you, too.”

She let go after that and went to stand by Elquinn, who had watched them as they danced. “You should try dancing with each other,” Janner suggested. “You might like it.”

Evnia nodded happily and Elquinn looked at her, a bit uncertain. “Maybe,” he said finally. “I'll try it.”

Squealing with delight, Evnia grabbed both of his hands and began doing her best to show him how to keep time with the song. Janner took the moment to leave and waved at Elquinn one last time.

He felt his son's eyes on him the entire time as he disappeared into the crowd once more.

He had a much more difficult time trying to resume his search for Nia. The main issue was that most of the parents of the other children had crammed themselves into that corner of the room and a bit beyond it, making it frightfully hard to get any distance away from the crowded space filled with children spinning in circles, tittering about everything under the sun and parents either fretfully hovering, completely ignoring, or carefully observing their kids.

The issue with taking so long to do anything related to staying in the Ballroom (which he was perfectly willing to do for Sara) was that it gave people much more time to see him, realize who he was, and begin thanking him rather awkwardly. Still, though, he somehow managed to make it through most of the crowd desperately searching without being told much more than, “isn’t it a magnificent evening?”

In a moment when he wasn't looking, though, a couple dancing just on the edge of the section of the floor space designated for dancing spun out more than intended, and Janner had to almost leap out of the way to dodge them.

Unfortunately, he half-leapt right into a group of people, as there was not anywhere else to leap, and stumbled, practically falling at their feet. It was just his luck that the man who helped him up recognized him, and then the entire group began talking to him all at once, thanking him profusely. Apparently they had never gotten the chance to and so were doing thirteen years worth of it then and intertwining nearly every detail of their lives with it. Janner listened, smiling, nodding, exclaiming when he needed to, but truthfully, he really needed to find Nia, and immediately afterward get out and go to Amrah.

“Janner, wonderful, I was looking for you,” Artham came up behind him, and Janner did his best not to breathe a sigh of relief. It ended up not being that hard, since it was mixed with a groan of frustration. Was he ever going to get anywhere? The way had seemed so clear before, but it was beginning to feel as though he was coming face to face with an obstacle at every turn. “I’m so sorry, but I need to borrow him.”

The group continued thanking him as he left, but it didn’t take long for their voices to drown in all the others and for the crowd to swallow them.

“Thank you, but do you actually need me?” Janner asked once Artham had gotten him to the edge of the Ballroom which was far less crowded and may have been much closer to reaching one of the doors that led to the Throne Room, but likely further away from . 

Artham shrugged. “Not really. Nia wanted to know if you knew where Sara was, so I suppose that is important. And I'm happy to rescue you anytime. You were quite trapped there, weren’t you?” His eyes twinkled, apparently amused that Janner had been swarmed. 

Janner laughed, both out of humor at his uncle's comment and relief over now having a possibility of a solution to finding Nia. “Well, the fact that it’s only happened once is probably a record.”

Artham raised an eyebrow. “A record in terms of how long you were trapped, or a record for how many times it’s happened in one evening?”

“The latter,” Janner said eagerly. “I've only been stopped once.”

“That's a miracle,” Artham said, chuckling. “Well, unless you think you'll need saving again, I'm going to go join Arundelle for another dance. If you want to keep someone company, Oskar isn't dancing with anyone, and neither is Nia.”

Janner hoped he wasn't failing Sara by passing her message through someone else. “Speaking of Mama and her question, would you mind telling her Sara went back upstairs? She’s hoping for some company.”

“Sure. And it helps that I know exactly where she is.” Artham glanced through the crowd before pointing to a cluster of people that apparently contained Nia.

Janner couldn’t see anyone, but knowing Artham had far superior eyesight to anyone else, he smiled and nodded anyway. “Thanks, Uncle Artham.”

Artham grinned at him before turning around and “disappearing” into the crowd, though his wings still made themselves quite obvious. 

Taking a breath, Janner made his move and headed toward the door his uncle had conveniently gotten him in the vicinity of, opened it, and left the Ballroom.

*****

Notes:

So we haven't gotten all that much closer to actually getting anything accomplished 😅