So you know that plan about posting regularly? Well.....it didn't exactly happen 😅
Here's Ch. 15, albiet very late. Oh, and I feel that it is very important to note that the first portion of this (so the part before the chapter break) is courtesy of one of my AO3 readers. If she hadn't said anything regarding the ending of the last chapter, this chapter would look very different :)
Clean Away Your Fears and Worries
When they finally reached the camp, the moon had risen and the stars were out. Out in the field it had been enough light to see by, but in the jungle Janner could barely see Kalmar walking four feet in front of him.
Kal veered off to the right to do something. Janner chose to not follow — they were at their camp, and he knew the rustling sounds belonged to his little brother.
Instead, he unbuckled the sheath from his waist and laid it on the ground beside him. He knelt down at the edge of the stream and dipped his right hand into the water. It was a cold relief to the burning he had felt walking back to the camp, but Janner knew the relief wouldn’t last forever. He was still wearing the gloves, and pulling it off was going to hurt. Not to mention that he couldn’t see very well in the dark, which would make every step of the process ten times more difficult.
Gripping the bottom of the glove tightly, Janner breathed out slowly and clenched his teeth, bracing himself for the discomfort that taking it off would cause.
“Wait,” Kalmar said, coming up behind him unexpectedly. “I’m gonna start a fire so we can actually see what we’re doing.”
Janner glanced at him warily as he knocked two pieces of flint together on a bit of dry brush and painstakingly started a fire.
When it was blazing brightly, Kal motioned for Janner to place his hand in the water again. “Let me do it,” he said softly. It was such a contrast to the way he had acted just an hour earlier.
Janner nodded and squeezed his eyes shut as Kal gently pulled the glove off, just a bit at a time. It took longer, but in the end it hurt far less than he had expected.
“That’s disgusting,” Kalmar said once he held the glove in his hand.
“Well,” Janner replied, sucking in his breath a little bit. “Were you expecting anything else?”
Kalmar shrugged and set to tearing another strip off the white once-shirt that was now just a pile of cloth. Janner held open his palm tentatively as his brother wrapped the bandage around it. They were silent for a little while. Kalmar tied it off gently and without a word turned his face toward the fire.
“Thank you.” Janner said, not sure what else to say.
“Don’t mention it,” Kal shrugged. “And, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you again.”
Janner smiled and placed his left hand on his little brother’s shoulder. “It’s alright. I’m your Throne Warden. I can take a bit of a beating every now and then.”
They began working on the boat as soon as they could. Janner knew sailing like the back of his hand and Kal understood it fairly well, but building a boat from scratch was a different story altogether. It was like trying to solve a puzzle that you made the pieces to, never sure whether they were going to fit or be too small or too big or too wonky.
The first problem they ran into was their lack of an ax to cut down any trees or branches. They realized that this was even more of an issue, considering the wood would have to be chopped finely and whittled to turn into a fairly boat-like shape. Kal suggested simply chopping down a huge tree and carving the trunk out so they could sit on the hollow inside, until Janner (once again) pointed out their lack of anything to cut down or carve out a tree.
In the end, Janner made plans for them to build a raft with edges on the sides to keep the water out. They could create a hollow bottom using the same method that would hopefully keep it afloat with the two of them inside.
All the trial and error and trial and error and much, much more trial and error took longer than either of them had expected, and by the time they began working on the final raft, another week had passed.
Janner was thankful, because even though it was hard work and they were breaking small trees by slamming into them with their bodies, it made it easy to keep Kalmar within his line of sight. His brother seemed more at ease when they were building and less apt to running off into the woods again. Sometimes Kal would stiffen or get moody unexpectedly, but Janner learned that the best way to handle it was to let him go hunt in the jungle nearby. It made him uneasy, even though Kalmar made sure to stay within shouting distance, but it seemed to calm his brother. Because of that, it meant it was a sacrifice he was willing to make, and so far there had not been any unsavory incidents.
Another benefit to it was that Kal had stopped complaining about the plonkfish. He resorted to catching other things, like the digtoad and diggle Janner had suggested initially. They never did find the cave blats Kal had caught that day in the woods, but every so often, he would come back with one and begin skinning it. Janner would look at him and Kal would meet his eyes at the same moment before quickly looking away.
He would go back to braiding vine into rope or tying the wood pieces together with the strongest knots he knew, hoping that Kal would tell him what was wrong once they got off the island, because only the Maker knew what it could possibly be.
*****
Sara stepped out the back door of Castle Rysen and pulled it shut behind her. A little distance from the door were two paths, one that led into town and another that led into the orchards and beyond. She glanced around, wanting to make sure no one had followed her. She knew she shouldn’t be going off on her own without telling anyone, especially with the baby due so soon — as if to confirm her thoughts, she felt another kick. She smiled and placed her hand where the little foot had been.
Still, she couldn’t bear the thought of staying in Rysen for so long with only her thoughts to accompany her. Once the initial terror had passed, Sara had felt herself slipping into the same quiet acceptance that she had many times before: when she had first been taken from her parents, when she had been left behind in the Fork! Factory!, when her orphans had found their families again and she was left alone.
The pain had been different this time. It had been harder to conquer, but the Maker had given her so many people to reassure her that all would be well. She had come to believe it. The sting of loss was still there, but it was not as strong as it had been before. Sara longed for Janner more than she longed for anything else in the entire world, but he was not with her.
Instead, she chose to travel down the little dirt trail before her, a trail that held lovely memories that she would always treasure, no matter what happened.
The trail was smooth from years of wear and the trees that lined the path were full and green with spreading branches that cast shade over the ground below at every hour of the day.
After being teased by Kalmar for years, she and Janner had finally decided to find some way of doing the same to him. It had taken a while, but they eventually noticed that he would creep away from everyone else at least four times a week and disappear for an hour or so. They had followed him out the back door she had just come through and down this path. She and Janner had hidden themselves in the trees, secretly watching Kalmar as he slunk down it, trying to avoid the prying eyes of anyone who would tease him if they knew where he was going. He was always going to Galya’s house.
They would follow him noiselessly, knowing that as soon as Kal knew they were spying on him, he would immediately deny everything obvious. Janner had felt a little guilty about it and wanted to tell Kalmar what they were doing, but Sara insisted that they go through with the plan and not reveal themselves. The best way was to secretly gain teasing material to use for later, not startle them into a love confession.
Though it did happen one day, when Janner managed to fall out of his tree. He insisted it was an accident (technically, he had twisted his ankle in the process) but Sara had never quite believed him. They ended up falling almost on top of Kal and Galya as they were about to kiss, and even Sara admitted that the look on Kalmar’s face had been priceless and worth revealing their spying secret.
As she strolled along the shaded path, Sara felt her longing for Janner stir inside of her again. Even though she had come to terms with it, there was always the overarching ache for him, the knowledge that he wasn’t there, that he might never be there again, but it was just an ache. It was at mealtimes, or during their regular reading hour, or at night as she lay alone in their cold bed and struggled to sleep because she had become so used to the sound of his breathing and gentle shifting and sleep talking that it turned into a vice-like grip that squeezed her heart and tested her soul.
Sara wondered whether this small path would stay a memory lane for the rest of her life or whether it would fill with more memories of her and Janner, walking along hand-in-hand or teasing Kalmar and Galya.
“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” A steady voice asked her.
Sara whipped her head up and saw Galya standing before her in the middle of the path. At first it seemed strange that Galya was so far from her house, but when she looked beyond her friend, Sara saw the modest stone home built by Mr. and Mrs. Striggs, who had adopted Galya after the Redeeming.
“Yes,” she replied softly. “Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe it’s silly. You know, I can just —”
“No, wait,” Galya interrupted as Sara turned to leave. “Please. Come in. My parents are in town and it’s just too quiet. I keep expecting Kal to come running through the front door to draw or climb trees, but he never comes.”
A look of sadness that had not been there before came into Gayla’s eyes, and Sara suddenly felt guilty that she had not spoken with her more in the past three weeks.
She nodded in response to Galya's suggestion and followed her in through the front door. Sara was led into a small sitting room, just the right size for four people. A sofa sat underneath a large window, and two plush armchairs were angled contentedly across from it. A lovely bookshelf — Sara noted that about a third of them were about drawing techniques or stories about artists — rose high and stately against the wall and was the first thing she saw when she walked into the room.
When she commented about this, Galya replied. “Oh, my parents love reading and think it should be the first thing on your mind when you sit down.” As she spoke, she motioned for Sara to sit on the sofa.
She did so with a bit of difficulty, and once again longed to hear Janner’s worried voice saying, “be careful. I have you,” and feel his gentle but sturdy arm against her back and holding her hand.
“How are you doing?” Galya asked her.
Sara looked at her and smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I miss him. I think I’ve come to accept it in one way, but in another way I just want him by my side again. I cried so much in the first week that I almost think it would be wrong to cry anymore.” She looked down at her hands.
“I cried at first. Sometimes if I’m not thinking about anything my emotions will catch up with me and I’ll want to throw myself on my bed and weep.” Galya placed her hand on Sara’s knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Instead I’ve been cleaning a lot. And by a lot, I mean everything in this house, top to bottom, inside and out, you name it, I’ve done it. I guess I'm trying to clean my worries away,” she laughed a little and began twiddling her thumbs. Sara noticed the checkered do-rag covering Galya’s hair and the smudged apron tied around her light green dress. “The trouble is that I’m running out of things to clean. What will I do, go over the already-clean house a fourth time? Order the statatoes in the cellar by size and shape and color again? Find a different way to organize the books other than color, alphabetical (author and title), publication, and topic? Catalogue my colored pencils and drawing instruments by the same order as the books?” She shook her head. “It’s only been three weeks. What am I supposed to do with myself once there’s nothing to do around here?”
“I don’t know. But at least you’ve been productive. I haven’t done much other than sit or walk or read and spend my time worrying.” Sara sighed, embarrassed that she hadn’t done anything helpful.
“Oh, Sara, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Galya smiled at her, a genuine smile. “Do you really think Nia would let you clean all of Castle Rysen, lift stacks of books from your library, or do anything strenuous when you’re due in, what, a week?”
Sara laughed a bit. “A week and a half. You have a good point.”
“I know,” Galya flashed her a smile that reminded Sara of Kalmar when he was proud of something small he had done.
There was silence for a few moments until Galya spoke. “Artham’s out looking again, right?”
Sara nodded. “They’ve been gone for a few days and have provisions for two weeks. Artham plans to stay out as long as that or longer. Hopefully Gresten will corral him before he does anything dangerous. And by dangerous, I mean something that will hurt himself.”
Galya breathed a sigh of relief. “So he hasn’t given up. Thank the Maker. I was getting afraid that they weren’t searching anymore.”
“Artham will keep looking until he finds Janner and Kalmar, alive or…not,” Sara whispered, brushing away a tear. “He won’t stop until he knows.”
“That could take a while, though,” Galya said as she stood and walked over to the bookshelf. Sara guessed she was trying to find a new way of organizing it. “Until then, I’ll have to find something to do to distract myself.”
An idea popped into Sara’s head. “This may sound strange,” she began. “But you could come clean Castle Rysen.” Galya’s eyes lit up. “There are plenty of rooms. You’ll probably have to ask Mama first, but I’m sure she’ll say yes.”
“That’s a great idea!” Galya said excitedly. She pulled the rag from her head and untied her apron, tucking them under her arm. “Can we go ask now?”
Sara laughed. “Sure, why not?”
Galya quickly scribbled a note for her parents and the two girls left chatting about the birds and the insects along the path and the messy state that Kalmar’s room was bound to be in.
Notes: So Galya's character is developed more here and she also comes into the story several more times. She was probably one of the scariest people to write, since she doesn't actually get much of a canonical personality so I had to make it up...but I hope you think she's okay :)
Janner's going to miss the birth of his child. 😔