After Times of Tender Agony: Ch. 11

Search Parties

Notes:

A rather long chapter^^ We've quite a lot of Sara in this one, a bit of Janner at the very end, though not much.

*****

“Lady Sara,” Chathan began, pulling her aside after the beginning meeting of the day. He didn’t speak again until they had seated themselves in a small, adjacent sitting area, closed off from the rest of the palace. “I…I need to tell you something.” Sara’s stomach clenched in terror, and an incredibly apologetic look flew onto Chathan’s face. “Oh, don’t worry, we haven’t found anything pointing to bad news. No bad signs, except lack of signs.”

Breath returned to Sara’s lungs, and she nodded. “I’m sorry,” she said, a mirthless laugh escaping. “That was silly of me. I shouldn’t have assumed—”

Chathan shook his head quickly. “No, it’s my fault. You’ve every right to be on edge. Anyway, what I wanted to tell you is that I can’t convince my grandmother’s royal guard to search in the city anymore.”

Even though she and Maraly and Shastan and Joe and potentially Owen were already planning on searching the city on their own, it was still a dangerous move on the Torrboron guards’ part. Did they really want to risk angering Anniera? Sara rose from the armchair in a flash. “Why not? It’s only been—”

“I know,” Chathan interrupted sympathetically, reaching out and resting his small, child’s hand on her forearm. Sara lowered herself into the chair again, but the tension did not unwind from her heart and body. “They said they’ve already scanned the whole city and there’s no point. They did reluctantly agree to look outside the city, but I don’t know for how long I can bribe them.” A sad smile slipped onto his face, and though his sadness didn’t change much, Sara was glad to know he at least cared.

She swallowed the dryness in her mouth before answering. “Thank you for putting in that effort. I appreciate it. We appreciate it. But…where is Queen Bhora? She hasn’t appeared all week. I’d like to approach her directly regarding Janner’s disappearance, if at all possible.”

Chathan bit his lip nervously. “I’m…I’m not supposed to tell anyone, but…she’s attending to matters with others.”

Brow furrowed, Sara eyed him curiously. “Others? Meaning…”

“Meaning I can’t say anymore,” Chathan said hastily, his eyes troubled. “I’m so sorry, but I just can’t.”

Sara forced herself to smile and nod. “It’s alright.” It wasn’t. “Thank you for all the effort.” It wasn’t enough. “I…I need to go prepare for today’s meetings.”

As she left, Chathan uttered a quiet, “I’m sorry I can’t help more.”

*****

Sara was doing her best to concentrate on what the representatives from Crith were saying, since they were discussing something rather important that had to do with…gambloat exchange? As of that moment, though, she couldn’t actually remember the names of either the man or the woman. 

“Excuse me,” she finally said after successfully zoning out more times than she ever had during a conversation. “You’re throwing a good deal of frivolity into the discussion, and I’d like to get to the point, if you don’t mind. What are the numbers now, and what changes does Crith want to make, if any?”

The woman, who had been leading the conversation, looked rather put out and pursed her lips in irritation. The man, however, mouthed, thank you so much, to which Sara smiled and folded her hands together pleasantly. 

“The numbers are fine as they are,” he began. “We’re not actually looking to alter that portion of trade. The Governor is hoping to increase the number of book imports, since the arts are one of Anniera’s main exports.”

“Indeed they are,” Sara replied, genuinely smiling this time. Anniera’s production of the arts was something she would always be very proud of, no matter how concerned she was about…about everything. Oh, but she did wish Janner were there for this sort of discussion. She wondered if the Torrboron searchers had found anything outside the city. Likely not, but it didn’t stop her from thinking about it.

“We’re hoping to improve the education sector in Crith, so we’re largely looking for books on language, writing, history, sciences, and maths. And we’re happy to pay in gold coin.”

Sara knew a good deal when she saw one, and even if it wasn’t a good deal, she knew how to make it one. The extra time and haggling would be worth it if it meant more children would receive quality education. Just because she could haggle and had taken classes in it didn’t mean she wanted to. Not that day, not when she could be out searching for Janner. 

Thankfully she was spared almost all haggling, since the Crithan representatives offered a generous amount of coin for the product, and the meeting was over in less than fifteen minutes.

In under five, she had changed out of her more formal attire for meetings and into a deep blue dress she could actually do something in and had found both Maraly and Shastan wandering around Castle Torr’s gardens. Well, they looked as though they had been wandering, but at that moment Maraly was sitting cross-legged on a stone bench while Shastan stood near it.

“What luck finding both of you here,” she said a bit breathlessly, planting her hands on her hips. Shastan flushed a little, and Sara cocked her head in curiosity. “Shastan, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing at all, Lady Sara,” he replied with a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “I’m assuming we owe the pleasure of your company to the same thing we owed it to yesterday, in which case the response is the same: we’d be happy to help you look.”

Maraly pushed him a little aggressively, and Sara’s mouth parted in surprise. She almost scolded her friend, but then checked herself. That wouldn’t be appropriate, and, besides, other than rubbing his side a bit—it was the only place Maraly had been able to reach, considering she was sitting down—Shastan seemed fine, even…happy?

“Speak fer yerself,” she growled, though not unhappily. “But I’m game fer it. Different part o’ Torrboro, right?”

Sara nodded. The last time they had searched, they had had to worry about running into Torrboron guards and getting forcibly escorted back to the castle. That wouldn’t be a problem now, though. Now they could comb every inch of the city without being stopped. “I was thinking the Twelfth Sector. And if Joe and Owen aren’t too busy, we might be able to convince them to go to the Fourth.”

Shastan nodded. “I’ll let them know. Please excuse me, ladies, but I need to wear something a bit more search-worthy than this.” He gestured to his gold-trimmed shirt, and Sara winced in sympathy.

“Probably a good idea,” she agreed.

Maraly snorted. “If everyone just did what I did and wore whatever he er she wanted, there’d be none of this changin’ business.”

Laughing, Shastan’s blue eyes twinkled. “As fun as that would be, Maraly, it wouldn’t be effective in terms of being taken seriously. No, I believe you’re the only one to whom such a privilege is endowed.”

He left with a bow, and Maraly looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. “I don’t know whether to tackle him or say ‘thanks,’ in response to thet,” she admitted, plucking a yellowing leaf from one of the bushes. “Let’s go ‘round to where we were yesterday. It’ll save time.”

“But shouldn’t we wait here so Shastan knows where we are?” Sara asked, following Maraly anyway. 

“He’s smart. He’ll figure it out,” was the short reply.

The place they had gone yesterday was a relatively low-profile stable where you could rent cabs for any time from an hour to a day. It was off the palace grounds, so no one there would recognize them or try to take them back to Torr, and even though the rate was monstrous…well, Sara was willing to pay a monstrous rate if it meant finding Janner. He was worth anything. She knew the rest of their family and Anniera would agree, even if he wouldn’t.

Leaving as soon as Shastan disappeared wound up not as prudent as Maraly had hoped, considering the twenty minutes they spent waiting for Shastan to show. When he finally did, it was Maraly who went after him, even though Sara had been the one fretting the entire time.

“Where were ya?” she demanded. “How long does it really take ta change?” Sara was tempted to tell her to hush so they wouldn’t disturb any other patrons or the owner, but she had a feeling those efforts would be a waste.

Shastan blushed and held up his hands. “Please, let me explain. What took so long was finding Joe and Owen. And also going back to the garden and not finding you there, but I won’t focus on that. They—Joe and Owen, I mean—were in a meeting, but I convinced Joe to come out and talk to me. Owen was too fixated for that. They’re going to start searching as soon as they’re done.”

“Wonderful,” Sara murmured, then looked at both of them individually. Maraly was still scowling a bit, but that was fine. “Thank you so much, both of you. You don’t know what this means to me.” She lifted her left hand involuntarily, and caught a glimpse of the diamond, dark, but still sparkling.

“Thank us when we find ‘im,” Maraly replied, crossing her arms in front of her, and despite the coarse tone, her scowl had disappeared. 

“I’ll go procure us a cab,” Shastan said, dipping his head. “And she’s right: we will find him.”

*****

Perhaps they would find him—or someone would, even if it wasn’t them—but the search was dreadfully disheartening, just like that of the previous day. The Twelfth Sector yielded no results, and no one had seen anything either. They searched down every alley, in any attic they could—this was done secretly by Maraly, and when Sara found out she was half-tempted to tell her friend not to invade everyone’s privacy, even though the other half of her screamed to throw all terms of politeness out the window in an effort to find Janner—in every public or uninhabited building. 

Nothing. Absolutely nothing was the result of that day. Sara knew nothing more than that Janner was not stashed in and had not been taken through the Twelfth Sector. She still held out hope for Joe and Owen’s search, clinging to it all through supper, all through that agonizing supper in which she smiled and answered questions and did her best not to cry when someone wanted to know where Janner was. She hadn’t quite figured out what to say to that, so she would just change the subject quickly. She had become proficient at changing the subject.

It wasn’t until the after-supper reception that Joe and Owen were able to deliver any information, and it wasn’t encouraging. 

“Nothing,” Joe said dejectedly. “I promise, we’re looking as hard as we can. I’ve got Durgan training, and I’m telling you, there wasn’t any sign of ‘im.”

Sara nodded, glad she was sitting on one of the cushioned benches, set back away from the rest of the crowd. “Thank you anyway,” she whispered, and the feeling of Maraly grasping her upper arm in support made her want to bury her face in her hands and cry. “I really do appreciate it.”

Owen cleared his throat, looking a little nervously. “We’ve searched four sectors, Sara, four out of twelve. That’s a third of Torrboro. When are you planning on getting a message to Anniera? Their King’s abduction is kind of a big deal.”

Sara nodded, and at this she did let her head fall into her hands. “I hate to send something, since it’ll take at least four weeks to get there, and by then, we’ll likely have found him.” And if we haven’t, her mind whispered. The chances that we ever will are next to nothing. “Anniera can’t do anything. Artham can’t do anything.”

“What about…Gammon?” Joe suggested. “He’s not a dragon, but I’m sure the Florid Sword could come in handy.”

Maraly shook her head. “He’s in Kimera. We could try an’ get a message ta ‘im, but knowin’ the mail system an’ such, it’d be faster trekkin’ all the way to ‘im ‘n sendin’ a letter. Fer now, I think we’re on our own.”

An uncomfortable silence produced by the thought of yet more potential help that could not actually provide aid settled over them awkwardly.

Sara finally broke it. “This wasn’t an attack on Anniera,” she said slowly, trying to reason out Janner’s disappearance again. “If it was, we’d have gotten a ransom, right?” 

Owen nodded. “In some form, yes.”

“So, then it’s personal,” Shastan said, his voice coming out of nowhere.

Sara lifted her head, a little surprised to see him. “Shastan? Don’t you have…diplomatic things to take care of? Since you’re Sylow’s only representative here?”

Shastan shrugged. “Sure, but everyone in that crowd is a little posher than I prefer. I’d rather be here. This is where I can do the most good. But back to Janner being missing—there’s not a high chance this kidnapping is political. Since there aren’t many more things to kidnap someone for, it has to be revenge, right?”

“Who in Aerwiar has a score to settle with Janner?” Joe asked incredulously. “He’s probably the nicest person I know.”

“‘xactly,” Maraly agreed, clearly catching Shastan’s drift. “So other ‘n Fangs since they’re gone, who’s Janner made angry in his life?”

Sara furrowed her brow a bit. “I don’t know,” she said slowly. “Because whoever it is has to be alive, and I can’t think of someone like that.”

“It might not be vengeance,” Shastan added. “I’m just trying to help with the brainstorming. Surely anything helps, though some things are obviously more helpful than others.”

“That reminds me, back to notifying Anniera,” Owen interrupted. “At least draft a letter. Maybe the Maker will send a dragon.”

*****

“‘m not even suffering for You,” Janner whispered, curled up in a painful knot on the cold, stone floor of his cell. Everything hurt and ached, and he hated not being able to wash the dried blood from his face. A newly-sharp part of the Overseer's cane had gouged into his shoulder, and that still bled freely. Somehow what the Overseer could do in minutes resulted in worse pain than he had felt in…a long time. Ever? He wasn’t sure which. His hand strayed toward his heart out of habit, even though the crest did not rest there anymore.

“Why’s it happening if it isn’t for You?” he asked again, when nothing but the lantern in the corner flickered in response. The Maker refined His children in their trials, that he knew, had known for quite a long time, as long as he could remember. There had been more of those than he would have preferred in the past few years of his life. 

But persecution? Torture? Those were nearly always because one declared the Maker’s goodness and was hated for it, or helped another in the Maker’s Name and suffered because of it. That hadn’t happened. The Overseer just wanted vengeance and decided to use him as a punching bag. 

“I don’t understand,” Janner murmured after too many moments of silence. He pressed his head into the floor briefly and instantly regretted it, hissing in response to the pain shooting through his mind. “I’m not suffering for You. I’m not really suffering for anybody, except Sara, but she isn’t You. So why?”

No response came that time either, and, exhausted, Janner felt himself drifting off to sleep, the unanswered question lingering in the air. 

When he was nearly asleep, though, a breath of warmth washed over him, a lovely warmth that made him open his eyes and smile. The fingers clenched into a fist against his heart relaxed.

Janner, you are suffering for Me, the Maker’s gentle, compassionate, not-at-all scolding Voice said. You’re suffering for the good you did for those children in the Fork! Factory!, for My Light you left behind, for the hope you gave Sara to liberate—in My Name—all those lovely children whom I adore. I know it hurts, I know. I feel your pain. Hold on just a little longer, My son.

*****

Notes:

Okay, one of the things I meant to put in last night's chapter's notes that I forgot to is related to Janner fiddling with the chain. So, prior to his kidnapping, did you notice Sara placed her hand against Janner's heart several times, either out of tenderness or an attempt to alleviate his stress? Trust me, it's there^^ Anyway, the Overseer yanked the chain and crest from Janner's neck and threw it away into a dark corner of the original room. Janner can't fiddle with it anymore, so instead he's pressing his clenched fist against his chest, right where Sara used to put her hand. It's quite sad/sweet, really 🥲

Just so you know (for contextual purposes), the part with Janner is meant to take place perhaps an hour after another beating

Let me know if I did anything noncanonical or weird!!! <3