After Times of Tender Agony: Ch. 5

Traveling

Notes:

I'm so sorry about how late I'm posting this! I had to edit a friend's essay...

There is a time skip!!! I didn't feel like coming up with any other fun things for the voyage so 😅

*****

Janner had never stepped foot into Fort Lamendron, but he couldn’t imagine it any other way than as the bustling suburban city surrounding him. Streams of people flowed and jammed constantly, horse-drawn carriages struggled to make their way through throngs of people, fruit stands, vendors, and other carriages or wagons, and a cacophony of noise ranging from low murmurs to deafening shrieks roared incessantly. All this made him happier than ever that he lived in Anniera and not elsewhere. 

It proved one of the few times he was actually grateful and wanted to ride in a carriage (a box-like one with a roof and doors, so no one could really see inside) because it effectively kept the swarms of clamoring people out. It wasn’t as though he didn’t like people. He did. In moderation. It was throngs of people in cities with maze-like streets leading to who-knew-where that made him more than uncomfortable. 

When they were stuck in front of one such jam in which it looked like two wagons, one carriage, and a fruit vendor (or three) had gotten into a rather heated quarrel, he felt something rest atop his thigh, then squeeze. He blinked, immediately recognized the blue jewel daintily adorning a slender hand, and looked up, fighting against the swaying current, once more seeing blue jewels staring at him. 

“Hi,” Sara said softly, cocking her head. “What do you think of Lamendron?”

Janner’s eyes drifted toward Joe and Owen briefly, the former of who stared out the window eagerly, while the latter reviewed the same papers he had looked over who-knew-how-many times. 

“It’s fine,” he replied shortly, realizing his hand had already crept its way toward the gold chain. He didn’t bother controlling it this time. “It’s a city. A crowded city. I’m looking forward to having it behind us, and I sincerely hope Anniera never ends up like this.”

“Torrboro’s not much better,” Owen noted, not looking up from his papers. “Less of the port bustle, of course, but still city and crowded and such.”

Janner pursed his lips, the combination of crowds, noise, and constant shifting of his mind leaving him with little patience.* “Wonderful.” The face Sara made in response to it one saying, please, let me know why you hate cities so much, but he didn’t exactly want both Joe and Owen to know the reason. Instead, he sighed and said, “I’ll tell you later, alright? Once the carriage stops for a break outside of town or something.”

Sara nodded, smiled encouragingly, and laid her head on his shoulder. To that, Janner couldn’t help but close his eyes with relief and happiness. Tension melted away, and though some of it still remained, a good deal had disappeared.

A dreadfully loud noise, a heart-in-your-throat noise, sounded outside the carriage, one he wasn’t sure the origins of. Individual gold links bumped against his fingers, rapid and reliable. He didn’t bother learning said origins and instead laid his cheek on Sara’s head, the silkiness of her hair comforting. 

The sound of someone's raised, firm but considerately pleading voice entered the chaotic traffic situation, and it almost seemed as though it might get sorted out because of it.**

*****

With all the traffic jams, managing their way out of Lamendron took nearly forever, and even if not forever, at least half the day. When they had escaped, though, and made it into the countryside, the difference was one of night and day. Though Lamendron itself was perhaps the most hectic, crowded, built-up, and busy port in all of Skree, outside of it the Maker’s brush and pen spread for miles. Going from the city through the gate and arriving in the open fields and meadows beyond was like stepping through one of the portals Janner had read about in books, and he decided to say so. The mental swimming had begun to lessen, and he hoped it would continue doing so.

Joe nodded in agreement, though he seemed slightly disappointed about leaving such a city behind. Owen stopped reading for long enough to look up, smile lightly, and say, “you know what, you’re right. It is rather like that,” then went back to reading frantically. 

Sara, though, well, her eyes sparkled at the words, her entire face lit up, and she briefly clapped her hands with glee. “Oh, Janner, you’re right! Which book are you talking about? Is it, I Found a Trapdoor in My Cellar, by Teran June, by any chance?”

Janner laughed. “That was one of the novels that came to mind, yes. But I was also thinking about Garden Between the Worlds, by Dina Rist and When the Waterfall Overflowed, by Egin Doin.”

Sara sighed with contentment. “Those were all such wonderful books. When’s the last time you read them, Janner?”

Chuckling a bit awkwardly, he looked out the window—now filled with verdant greens and tinges of yellow and orange, even a trickling stream peeping through the grasses—for a moment. The rolled abnormally, though, so he closed his eyes. “I haven’t done much reading in a while,” he confessed, still looking outside, unwilling to admit something of the sort, potentially disappoint her, and have to see the way a shadow passed over her face as a result. The links of the chain rubbed quickly against his fingers, and the crest jumped on top of his shirt, landing against a button with a clang. “There’s been so little time, you know? So many people to see and speak with and settle problems for, and even more papers to go through—with help, of course, but reviewing them still takes an enormous amount of time. And then a good deal of other time is spent with the family or doing other kingdom-running things, and come bedtime,” —he paused, feeling rather frustrated now. He turned to look at Sara again anyway, though, because something about her always helped with that— “come bedtime, I’m too tired to read anyway, so even if I open a book, I only get a few sentences in before I’m asleep already. So now you see my dilemma.” He smiled, but he knew it wasn’t a real smile, and she knew it wasn’t, either.***

Joe cleared his throat awkwardly, then stood, leaned the upper half of his body out the window and called, “Mr. Trate, would you mind much if we stopped, just to stretch our legs?”

The carriage slowed, and the driver (Janner assumed Mr. Trate was the driver, though in the commotion of Lamendron he hadn’t bothered to remember something like that) said, “I don’t mind at all, sir. I’ll be stopping at the stand of trees just up ahead, so’s we’re out of the road and such.”

“Good. Thank you!” Joe replied cheerfully, then smiled and sat back down. “It sounds like you two need to talk about something,” he said, as if to explain. “I think you’ll have to do it while strolling, though. Owen’s pretty glued to his paperwork.”

Once again without glancing up, Owen muttered, “I am not glued.”

“A stroll sounds lovely, anyway,” Sara said, not objecting to the notion of it. “And don’t worry, Owen. I know you’re not glued. You’re just prudent.”

Owen smiled after hearing that, though Janner didn’t pay much attention to the smile and more to the fact that whatever “strolling” they did would be rather mentally off kilter. 

Strolling was off kilter, but it didn’t seem as though Sara and Joe had the same problem. It made sense. Joe had spent a decent amount of time on ships, as had Sara, and they were acclimated enough to where it didn’t prove problematic. The frustrating part, however, was that he had certainly sailed more times than Joe, possibly more times than Sara and yet…

Janner clenched his teeth briefly, very briefly, then quickly unclenched them, so Sara wouldn’t notice. He wondered if (really, when; she paid far too much attention to him) she would and how long it would take and how much of a fuss she would make when she guessed the truth. 

“Janner,” she began—Oh, no, he thought. Not already. We’ve barely walked three feet! He had hoped to make it to the tree that was still maybe fifteen feet away. His fingers itched for the chain, but that might set him even more off balance— “Will you tell me what bothered you in Lamendron, now?”

Breathing a silent sigh of relief, he smiled but didn’t nod. Nodding would make it worse. “Sure. Um…” he paused, looking straight ahead and focusing on the tree, hoping such a stationary object would keep him steady. “It just reminds me of Dugtown. It’s where Kal and I got separated back when we were on our way to Kimera.” His eyebrows knitted together, and he stopped without intending to, a few blades of grass beyond the tree now his focal point. “It’s where I was an idiot and let him leave, and then he got Fanged and, and—” he choked on his words without wanting to and shook his head without thinking. “I know it’s so long since then, but it was still my fault,” he whispered before the land undulated beneath him, and he collapsed, and he hated himself for it.

Sara was next to him in a moment, her hand cupping his cheek, as she asked him if he was alright, as she told him it would be alright.

“I’m okay,” he said softly. “It’s just the sea, that’s all. You know how it likes to follow me on land. I’m really fine, I promise.”

Sara shook her head, clearly perturbed, but seeming relieved he wasn’t horrifically upset. “Janner, you’re supposed to tell me when something’s wrong like that. Think of it like a betrothal gift or something.”

He smiled a little, then watched her hand shift a good deal. Joe said something next, so even though his vision was more obscured and twisted than preferred, it wasn’t hard to guess Sara had summoned him.

Janner wanted to protest when they helped him to his feet, but the truth was that the sudden transition from sitting to standing made his mind shift more than ever, thus all protest would certainly be a lie and none of it would be heeded. 

The benefit was almost in the moment he sat down in the carriage again, he fell asleep, the swirling world drifting away. Sometime in the middle of it, everything spun for a moment before it stopped, and he was almost certain it stopped because Sara’s shoulder had become his pillow.

As if to confirm the theory, he heard, “sleep, dearest. We have all the time in Aerwiar.”

*****

The rest of the trip passed relatively smoothly without any hitches. Perhaps the most unsettling part was when they drove near Glipwood, not on the road that led into the little town, but past the one that did. Janner made out the tips of houses and blurred buildings in the distance, and his heart ached. 

He stayed silent for the rest of that day, tugging at the chain without caring what anyone else thought of it, unable to keep himself from remembering the lovely, peaceful years in Glipwood without the knowledge of Anniera or Jewels or crowns or kingdoms. Nia would bake butterbread and make quilts for the struggling women around town more often than for their own family. Podo would spin tales at Shaggy’s Tavern or plot against Buzzard Willie or yell at the thwaps in his garden. Leeli and Nugget would play together for hours, Kal—Tink, then—would drive him crazy with his demands that they play games or go exploring or climb trees or set off fazzle doves, and more often than not he would be so frustrated with it all.

Janner would give anything to have Kal try and coerce him into bothering fazzle doves now.

He couldn’t sleep that night and instead stayed away, thinking about his family, about the past, about all that had transpired in the past few years.

The lack of sleep meant, of course, that he was exhausted in the morning and couldn’t last more than an hour or so being fully awake before beginning to nod off. Sara smiled a little in response to that. “This is what happens when you don’t sleep,” she chided, but Janner heard more than scolding in her tone. There was love and worry too. He felt bad about the worry.

“I’m sorry,” he said, pressing his thumb and forefinger against his eyes. Bright colors burst in his vision, but it didn’t wake him up at all.

“We really don’t mind if you take a nap,” Joe said suddenly. “Even if Owen does mind, he’s reading and won’t notice.”

Owen was indeed still reviewing the pages, but the sliver of reluctance in Janner's heart kept him awake. Instead, he rested his head against the wall of the carriage stared out the window.

*****

Notes:

*The mind swimming is a result of the cerebellar degeneration from the fever (as a result of the mold issue) in the previous story. Remember how I said it would come up again? It's back, albeit briefly :D

**Take note! The owner of that voice is going to come into the story again later 😏 He's one of my OCs, and though he's known by a different name now, he's still the same character^^

***This is me personally venting about my lack of time to read :DDDD

Please let me know if there's anything noncanonical^^ (especially in the geography and travelling...I spent a good deal of time trying to make it accurate according to the map, but I may have still messed up 😅)