Rather than Resenting: Ch. 2

Interrupted Tea Making

Notes:

If I'm being totally honest, the chapter title is terrible, but it is about the tea making getting interrupted...sort of^^

Also, I'm sorry it's been so long - school has been crazy and I've been trying to get a good handle on that and on this story^^

*****

Janner made his way down to the kitchen to make tea for Sara. She had fallen asleep, which likely meant the tea would be cold by the time she woke up again, but she wouldn’t want it piping hot, anyway. He could make it downstairs, then bring it up and keep it warm but not hot by the fire until she was ready for it. 

When he pushed open the door to the kitchen, he found Nia flipping through a new cookbook she had gotten and humming. She turned to look at him and smiled, but he thought he saw a trace of sadness in her dark eyes.

“What are you doing down here?” she asked pleasantly, brushing back behind her ear a few strands of dark-and-graying hair that had come loose from her braid.

“I’m just getting tea ready for Sara when she wakes up again,” he replied, heading to the tea-tin Nia kept on the counter. Hot tea was on high-demand all times of the year, but especially in the winter. 

He heard her hum to indicate that she had heard him, followed by her quiet murmuring as she read through the ingredients and their quantities. 

“What are you making?” Janner inquired as he looked through the little glass tubes of herbs for Sara’s favorite blend. 

Nia stopped humming for a moment. “Just a dish for a family in town.” She stopped speaking after that and went back to humming, but Janner felt as though there was something else embedded in her statement. He had a feeling she wasn’t telling him for a reason, though, and chose to keep quiet about it. 

After he had filled the tea kettle from the in-kitchen spigot and set it on the stove so the water would boil, his silence and lack of inquiry was rewarded with other conversation.

“Jebsun popped in here after his visit upstairs,” she said quietly, turning to look at him. “He said he asked you to take a break, but he doubted you would listen.”

Janner smiled wryly. It sounded just like Jebsun to go through Nia or Artham or (in normal circumstances) Sara or some other avenue to convince him to take a break. He had attempted to do so in the months following his “the incident” six years earlier, had proceeded to do it every winter since, and was now apparently being very insistent on it yet again for no reason. 

“Well, I’m not choosing to not listen because I don’t want to.” Nia planted her hands on her hips and pursed her lips at this statement. “I mean, I don’t want to listen, but that’s not the main reason why I’m not listening.”

“Janner Wingfeather, you may be an adult, a husband, and a father, but I am your mother, and I’m telling you: rest.”

Janner shook his head. “I’m not doing anything that needs resting from. Shoveling snow is a normal winter chore that I need to do. Attending meetings with Kalmar, at least most of the time, isn’t taxing at all. And drilling the militia with Artham is required.”

Nia sighed and came over to him, placing her hand on his arm. “Janner, I’m not talking about any of those things. I’m talking about your heart. You need to unburden yourself, please! Otherwise, you’re going to be a mess when the inevitable happens.”

Janner looked at her and nodded stiffly, but the truth was that he knew he was neither going to fall to pieces nor tell anyone what roiled inside of him. Perhaps there was a time that he would have, though it felt like it must have been forever since that had been the case, but now it was a dangerous slippery slope. If he were to talk with Artham it would begin with his frustration and grief and fear over Cerlon’s weakness and possible death, soon other things would come out, things like the anger he felt but hid nearly every time he looked at Kalmar, then following it would be the desperation to fix it because it had been partially his fault, and finally he would spill forth his darkest secret that he had never told anyone: that he was furious with Amrah, even to this day, and that he wanted nothing more than for her to suffer for what she had done, and that he wanted to be the one to make her suffer.

Shaking his head to dispel those thoughts from his mind, Janner took a teacup down from one of the upper cabinets. He then tapped a small portion of the loose tea herbs into a steeper, snapped the steeper shut, and placed it inside the teacup.

“Where is everyone?” He decided to ask, wanting to talk and keep unpleasant thoughts from his mind without speaking of uncomfortable subjects.

Nia, who had been measuring flour, paused and glanced at him, smiling. “Arundelle and Galya took Asteria, Evnia, Elquinn, and Laylynne out to play in the snow, but Asteria is convinced that she’s babysitting.” 

Janner laughed at that. Asteria was now nine, and she took watching over her nieces and nephew — they were not actually her nieces and nephew, but it was simpler to leave the incorrect titles as they were — very seriously,  though Evnia tended to trump her in the overprotectiveness category when it came to Laylynne, Kalmar and Galya’s three-year-old daughter. 

“And what about Kalmar and Uncle Artham?” he asked, but almost before the words were out of his mouth, the back door to the kitchen was flung open more loudly than it needed to be, and the subjects of his question came in; rather, Kalmar tromped in, making a shower of snow descend onto the floor where it would likely melt and create a puddle, while Artham made a point of taking off his outer boots while still outside, walking in with normal, not-soaking or snowy shoes on and politely keeping the snow outside where it was meant to be.

Nia’s arms were already folded, but Kalmar was talking quickly and frustratedly, so she had not yet had the chance to scold him.

“I mean, seriously,” he was saying. “Why haggle for two hours over miniscule details in trade contracts that are going to be renewed and look exactly the same as they did before!” Artham opened his mouth in an attempt to explain, but Kalmar kept speaking. “Two hours of my life wasted, Uncle Artham, two hours when I could have been—”

He apparently became aware of Janner’s presence at that moment, because his eyes lit up instantly and an enormous grin spread across his face. “Look who decided to appear! Janner, you seriously should have been at this meeting. I bet it would have been at least an hour shorter if you had been negotiating because—”

Nia finally cleared her throat, and Kal looked at her. “Kalmar Wingfeather, you have tracked a good deal of snow into my kitchen, and I would like it out before it becomes a puddle that someone unfortunate manages to slip in.”

Artham laughed, Kal grinned at her sheepishly, Nia went back to cooking, and Janner did his best not to appear unsettled by his brother's words regarding his absence. He would have had a much harder time of it had the tea kettle not begun screaming at that moment, making him startle just a little bit but not so much that anyone noticed. Well, Artham might have noticed, based on the way his eyes shifted and his head cocked towards him curiously. It was alright if Artham noticed, though. 

Pouring the hot water into the teacup, he allowed it to steep while he listened as Kal chatted about the meeting, all the random things that had taken forever that were so boring, and cleaned up his mess efficiently at the same time. Artham excused himself in the meantime, having “other things” to take care of.

“Oh, and the topic of the Ball came up,” Kalmar said unexpectedly after he had eliminated all of the snow, causing Janner to shift his gaze from the tea he was stirring to his younger brother’s face. “I know it’s not for a month, but they want to start planning now. Are you going to help them? They asked me to ask you. They also asked why you weren’t there, but I didn’t tell them the answer to that question.” Kal’s eyes softened at this last piece of information.

Janner felt a lump forming in his throat at the reason for why, but he swallowed quickly, hoping to dislodge it. “Um, yeah. I guess I can help. But what planning is necessary? We’ve done the same thing each year. What’s different about it now?” The last sentence was muttered under his breath so no one could hear, but he had felt his expression darken and guessed both Nia and Kalmar had seen, and if his mother had not, his brother certainly had.

Kalmar shrugged, and Janner felt a dash of anger spark in his heart as he watched the movement. “I don’t know. I thought it would just be the same as always, dancing, food, speeches—”

“But I just don’t see why it has to change,” Janner interrupted testily, and Kal looked at him uncertainly with a touch of concern written on his face. “Why this year? Why not last year? Why not next year?”

“Why don’t you boys take this to the library?” Nia said gently. “Janner, I can take Sara’s tea to her.”

“Is she awake?” Kalmar asked hopefully. “How’s—” He seemed like he was about to ask another question, but something stopped him. Janner turned to look at Nia just in time to see her lips finishing the motion one’s mouth makes when saying, “no” silently.

He wanted to protest, but the teacup was already in her very capable hands and her skirts were swishing out of the kitchen. He felt Kalmar’s hand on his right shoulder at the same moment, and his younger brother began pushing him towards the library to discuss everything.

*****

Notes:

Trying to bring out the frustration that Janner keeps pushing down while keeping with the troubles of the larger, more detrimental factor. Janner's occasionally spiraling mindset of bitterness and frustration is written from experience (you know, how Sara and Cerlon have nothing to do with Kalmar and Amrah, but he's bitter about the latter and emotionally exhausted regarding the former [which is more being shown through his snappiness than anything else] and it just gets rolled up into one mess.

Again, any comments, suggestions, ways to make the story better either here or later are welcome^^

Oh, and yes, Kal and Galya are already married and have a daughter. I feel bad for skipping so much time...but is it okay? Would you like a one-shot (well, three shot?) on them getting married, etc.?