The Jewels Rise Again: Chapter 5

Notes: Occasionally I will mention a song that was the inspiritation for the chapter OR I stumbled across it randomly and it worked out perfectly. This is one of those chapters. JJ Heller's "In the Morning" is a very good representation of Nia in this chapter (and, yes, it's from Starfeather's "Nia Songs" video). "Into the Sea" by Tasha Layton is Sara's song for this chapter.

And, one last note, "My Love Has Gone Across the Sea" belongs to Andrew Peterson, however my addition to it IS my own.

A Night of Remembrance

Sara cried until she had no tears left. She was dimly aware of Artham lifting her from the ground and holding her against his chest while she gasped for breath and shuddered. She rested her head on his shoulder and squeezed her eyes shut. They burned from the tears she had shed. 

She didn’t know where they were going or where Artham was taking her, but she didn’t fight. She had no strength to fight. She had no strength to do much of anything other than beg and plead and ask the Maker why . When they first began walking away from where Janner’s body lay, she thought she heard a voice asking Artham a question. His response was: “I’ll come back for him. Little Sara needs me right now. He told me to save her and take care of her. I’m going to honor the last thing he asked me.”

The walk was short and soon they had reached what Sara knew were the ruins of the once-beautiful Castle Rysen. 

“Sara,” Artham said softly. “I’m going to leave you here for just a few minutes. I need to go get Janner. Arundelle will stay with you.” 

Sara nodded, unable to speak, and Artham set her gently on the ground. She leaned her back against the wall and pulled her legs up, hugging them close to her chest. In seconds, her head was resting on them and she was lost in a restless sleep.. 

Sara awoke hours later, head resting on a pillow made from someone’s cloak. Words of comfort had blossomed in her heart. Sara had no idea where the words had come from, but they were words that told her all would be well. They said Janner had given his life nobly, and that the Maker had brought forth beauty and life from his death. It didn’t lessen the pain or the grief, but it chased away the despair and sent a spark of light to her candle of hope.

Sara pushed herself up from the ground and winced. She wasn’t used to sleeping on stone. A blanket fell from her and she shivered. It was much colder in Anniera this time of year than it was in Skree. Sara picked it up and wrapped it around her shoulders. She was in a cellar — the cellar of Castle Rysen, she realized — and Nia and Leeli lay sleeping just a few feet away from her. 

Sara glanced around to make sure everyone was indeed asleep and crept up the stairs out of the cellar. At first she was worried they would creak and give her away. Then she remembered that they were stone steps, and stone steps didn’t creak. They only crumbled. 

When she had made her way out of the cellar, she blinked and shaded her eyes from the sun. Then Sara noticed the blinding light didn’t come from the sun at all.  It came from the biggest, brightest, most beautiful moon she had ever seen. 

It was because of the light that Sara was able to see exactly who she was looking for. She picked her way around a few pieces of rubble, then lowered herself to the ground quietly and folded her legs underneath her. Sara sat there for a while, then looked back at Janner. Even in his repose of death, even though his face was sunken and his life was drained from him, his mouth was set not in a grimace of pain or horror, but a gentle smile of joy. 

“Oh, Janner,” she whispered. She leaned forward and began to sing. 

My love has gone across the sea

To find a country far and fair...

She continued until the last few lines, where different words suddenly came to her, a breath from above. 

And if I find your body pale

And sacrificed so they prevail,

I’ll weep, my love, and hold you dear:

Your light, my love, is always here.

I’ll weep, my love, and hold you dear:

Your light, my love, is always here.

Tears spilled from Sara’s eyes and were warm on her cold cheeks. She removed a fold of the dark cloth surrounding Janner’s body and took his hand, holding it in hers.

“That was lovely, Sara,” a voice from behind said quietly.

Sara started a bit and met the dark eyes that fell on her. Janner’s mother stood behind her, hands clasped behind her back. “Mrs. Wingfeather,” Sara stumbled with her words. “I’m so sorry, I’ll leave and—” she began pushing herself from the cold stones, but Nia shook her head.

“No, Sara. Stay. And don’t be afraid to hold Janner’s hand. I wouldn't deny it to you for the world.” Sara reached for his stiff, skinny hand again and held it in both her hands, longing to bring warmth to the coldness of death.

Nia sat down on the other side of Janner’s body. She didn’t speak for a while. She only stared ahead, looking at the day-bright moon, absent-mindedly stroking her son’s hair as she would when he was sick or asleep. 

“Janner spoke of you often,” she said quietly. “Well, not in the normal way. But he talked about you all the time.”

Sara looked at her. “What do you mean, Mrs. Wingfeather?”

Nia smiled a sad smile. “First, please, call me Nia. Or even Mama, if you so desire. But not ‘Mrs. Wingfeather.’”

Sara nodded. Calling someone ‘Mama’ again after so long sounded nice. She wondered if she would ever be able to call Nia such a precious name. 

“What I mean is that he always talked about you when he was sleeping. When we sailed to the Green Hollows from Kimera, he spent the entire trip stuck in the hold. Based on the look on your face, I would assume you know why.”

Sara nodded. “He loves Kalmar so much.” She wouldn’t allow herself to say ‘loved.’

“The first week, I was so scared,” Nia’s voice trembled in remembrance. “His fever wouldn’t break and his breathing was shaky and terrible. I was sure the Maker would take him, that’s how bad it was.

“But He didn’t. At least, not then.” Nia laughed a sad laugh that ended in a sob. She took in a shuddery breath. “Anyway,” she whispered through the tears choking her. “He always talked about you. Every time he spoke, he was talking about you. He would talk about your diamond blue eyes, about your courage, about your smile, your voice.” Nia glanced toward Sara, who watched her, tears streaming down her face. “Sara, darling. He loved you. He wanted nothing more than to be with you again.”

Sara squeezed Janner’s hand. “If only he was here now.” She whispered, her heart throbbing in grief.

“Sara,” Nia leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Sara’s forehead. “He’ll always be in your heart. And I think the Maker will tell him that you found us.”

Sara shook her head. “It doesn’t take the pain away.”

“I know,” Nia told her, and when Sara looked into her eyes, she could tell that Nia meant it. She really did know. “I was engaged to a man in Ban Rona,” she began. “Rudric, Keeper of the Hollows. Then he accidently killed my husband, who turned up alive after so many years. Ruric broke off the engagement.”

Nia hung her head and Sara saw new tears rolling down her face. “He died in the Battle of Ban Rona. I loved him. And he loved me. I can’t help but wonder,” Nia turned to face Sara. “If we had still married, even though he killed my Esben, we would’ve had a few months of joy. And, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have fought so hard. Maybe he would’ve held back, just a bit longer, if he had known I still wanted him.”

“But it was not the Maker’s will,” Sara said quietly, almost feeling as though she was reciting the words for the hundredth time, as if they had lost their meaning. 

“No, it was not the Maker’s will,” Nia repeated. Sara heard the truth in her words. She knew Nia believed the words she spoke. 

“How do you say it and believe it?” Sara asked.

“My heart has suffered countless times,” Nia’s voice broke. “Without clinging to the Maker, I have learned that I cannot survive the pain. It is only by believing that what happens is His will that I can carry on.”

“I don’t know if I can believe it yet,” Sara whispered hotly, looking at her hands in her lap, then looking past them to see the shriveled hand they held. She felt as though the Maker had abandoned her. Why had He brought her to Anniera, only to find Janner dead? Why had He allowed her to hope so long in something that was so futile?

Nia leaned over and put her arm around Sara’s shoulders. “He will help you.”

“But the pain is so real.” 

Nia looked at Sara lovingly. She longed to take Sara in, to care for her as her own daughter. “Sara, Janner told me something about his journey with Kalmar prior to his...his death. He told me that he was alone, in the dark, and he was scared. He cried out to the Maker and asked, ‘Why did You do this to me?’ Then he realized that he had always longed to be a legend. He always longed to live the tales the heroes had. He suddenly had the thought: ‘Maybe the Maker is only giving me the thing I wished for.’”

Sara glanced at Janner’s face and ran the back of her hand across his cheek. “How is that relevant?” She asked, honestly curious.

Nia sighed. “Sara, Janner wanted only two things in all of Aerwiar: to be with you again and rest.”

Even as Sara’s heart warmed with the first words, it broke again at the last. “Rest?” she said, her voice trembling.

“Dear Sara,” Nia cupped Sara’s face in her hands. “I comfort myself with the knowledge that the Maker only gave Janner what he longed for.

“And someday, maybe weeks or months from now, I promise you this: Sara, dear, all will be well in the morning.”

Notes: so....bittersweet. 😥

BUT.............

SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVEN IF IT'S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY. I'm giving you another chapter later today :D