Last night in Glipwood Township, the vigilante group self dubbed the 'Night Police' were back at it again with their nightly enforcement of their curfew.
For those who are new to this group, they are notorious for hiding in the shadows of the night, waiting from the high places to shower unsuspecting townsfolk with flour and water.
These attacks often occur from 10pm until 6am the next day to ensure no one stays up later so they do not become sleep deprived. The flour and water is supposed to encourage the victim to go home and go to bed but little does the group know, they're only making their victim stay up later having to get cleaned up.
Last night around 11pm, there was another report of a 'water and flouring' near Main Street. A local by the name of Oskar Reteep says he saw the event and the culprit. This is what he had to say:
"Yes, yes! I do remember seeing the fellow. Surely he was very strong and overpowered a couple fangs in his day... Though... He was a bit portly. Nevertheless, he had excellent aim. As dear Jimmeny Kricket once said, ''Boy, did I forget I could throw!'" He cleared his throat. "N-Not that it was me who did it..."
Mr. Reteep sounds like he saw the whole show but after that last comment, we suspect that some part of him was too awestruck to give us more description.
A victim in question was too bewildered to speak coherently but here is what we could decipher:
"I'm... gluten intolerant... but they didn't care..." The victim looked like a deer down a hunter with his bow and arrow. "They just didn't care..."
Shortly after, the 'Night Police' released a statement to The Glipwood Muse based on the rumors of what the victim had said:
"We are saddened to hear someone was traumatized from our curfew system." Adwing, leader of the 'Night Police', said. "It is our desire to prevent the sleep deprivation epidemic, not cause an allergic reaction. From now on, we will use gluten free flour in case someone has allergies. We won't stop until everyone gets to sleep on time!"
After she said that, she water and floured our reporter and told him to get to bed. However, it was 10am, not 10pm. We at The Glipwood Muse speculate Ms. Adwing could use a snooze or two as well.
Remember, don't be out past 10pm! Be sure to get to bed on time so you don't get caked!
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🍊🤣🤣🤣🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊The Thwap House News! I love it! We need a weekly paper.
What about those who like waking up at 4am? Would the Night Police go after them as well? Just… asking for a friend.
🤣Adwing, when's the last time you slept?
That was great! Thank goodness I'm off devices by 8:00 PM. 😅